I don't know if everyone remembers a previous post: "Coming Out of the Dark" about a woman going through a difficult time with a cheating spouse. I think she wrote a fabulous letter worth sharing. And here it is!
Letter To my “Husband”
While everyone, including myself, is so busy blaming your mistress for your affair I don't want you to forget you are to blame too. In fact you are more to blame than her. You are a horrible person. You have spent our entire relationship lying to me about her. In fact you have spent your entire life lying to everyone. That is how we got to this point, you are a compulsive or maybe even pathological liar.
You lie about everything or at the very least exaggerate details in almost every sentence you speak. Your family makes excuses for you, your friends allow you to be dishonest, and you continue to treat people like crap. Basically everything in life is about you and what you want. Never do you stop to think about others. When you do think about others you always have a plan in mind how you can use the favor you did for them or the nice deed you did as a bargaining chip in the future. Even your affair was all about you. She spent all the time doing oral favors for you and you did very little in return.
Often times people comment on how you have changed in the past 8 years. They comment on how you have matured and seemed to have settled down. Have you really? Because if you have you must have been a pretty sucky person before we met. Or maybe it is all just an act? You clearly have mastered living a double life.
You spent your days pretending to be my devoted husband and loving step dad to my kids. Meanwhile at night while you were having an affair with another woman. You spent 3 months, or at least that is what you have confessed to, leading a double life. All those days you were supposed to be sleeping during the day because you worked third shift you spent entertaining your mistress. Meanwhile I was working full-time, taking care of the kids and the house. I was running them to baseball games and practices, you know all the ones you missed because you were busy sleeping or planning your next meet up. I was spending my nights cleaning, doing laundry and trying to keep control of the house because you didn't do anything all day long but sleep and cheat. Looking back it all makes sense. That's when I started having my suspicions you were doing something you shouldn't be. That is also the excuse you use for having an affair, because we were arguing and I was crabby at you. Yes, I was angry and crabby at you BECAUSE YOU WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR! I didn't know at the time what you were doing but I did know that you were being an ass, lazy and lying. You weren't doing your job as a husband but you had all the time in the world to blame me for being a bitchy wife.
None of this is new to you. I have said this all before and you either ignore me or pretend to listen. Since you are incapable of caring about anyone but yourself I am not surprised with your lack of remorse or concern about how I feel.
Maybe you will suffer a major head injury and emerge a better person. Maybe you will wake up one day and decide to be a better person. Or maybe you will wake up one day and realize that I am gone. You will have no one to blame but yourself, however somehow you will spin it as me being a bad person. Your family will lie and gossip about me. You will try and weasel your way back into my life. Clearly the skill to weasel into someone's life is a skill your mistress taught you.
Not so sincerely,
And if you'd like to read her Letter to the Mistress, find that here: http://bringonlemons.blogspot.com/2017/05/guest-post-part-ii-dear-mistress.html