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Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Is it Wrong or Just Not My Way?

same class - same instruction - look at the differences! ALL BEAUTIFUL!
I just had a fabulous conversation with a friend. I was reminded of a time when a mentor asked me a tough question. A co-worker at the time (many many years ago) had done something I disagreed with. In my youth, I was quick to judge and readied myself to jump in and explain what they had done wrong and how they could do it better the next time. My mentor asked:

Did they do it wrong, or did they just not do it 'Crystal's Way'?

I sat back and thought about that. I thought about how my mother said you should vacuum first and dust later and how my father said dust first and vacuum later and how they were both right, as long as the work got done.

It's the same way with parenting, marriage, book reviews, and just about any situation you can imagine. There's very seldom one single way to get something done. In my recent article for WOW!Women on Writing about book reviews for example I talk about writing a review of a book that you don't particularly love. Just because I wouldn't have written a book about poetry as a way to heal after sexual abuse doesn't mean Rebecca Fitton's book "Wave Rider" is any less valid. Just because I wouldn't write a book about my relationship with my mother doesn't mean Linda Appleman Shapiro's "She's Not Herself" isn't a great book.

After a failed practice marriage over a decade ago, I learned to be less critical of myself and others. I no longer look for fault in my spouse in the same way I did the first time around. If you are waiting for someone to make a mistake or if you are looking for faults in others, you'll find them. If you look for the good in others and in yourself, you'll find that too. It's no different with books. I could pick up a book by any author - this includes my dear Wall Lamb or Jodi Picoult too - and find points that could be spruced up, draggy parts, things that don't appeal to you, etc... or I could pick up the same book and see all the beauty and heart written on those pages. It's really up to me.

This doesn't mean I never write a negative book review, but I try to see books the same way I see people. There's good in most of them. Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper beneath the surface, but there's some good there. Just because the person isn't someone I want to spend eternity with doesn't mean they aren't an amazing individual. Just because the book isn't done 'Crystal's Way' doesn't mean it's wrong.

There are my deep thoughts for the day. Enjoy!

Do you have a situation you can tell us about where you had to take a step back and look for the good in others?

Please leave a comment - I love hearing from you!


May your paths be abundantly filled with lemons, sugar, sunshine, and the wisdom of good friends.

Crystal is a secretary and musician at her church, babywearing cloth diapering mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Manitowoc County, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 9, Andre 8, Breccan 3, and Delphine 1), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff here, and at WOW! Women on Writing.

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