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Monday, February 27, 2017

Why Share so Much?

Delphine & her BFF Zoey
So - I appreciate all the kind messages, texts, PM's and all the support concerning our recent pregnancy announcement. You are all just the neatest people EVER! And haters are gonna hate, but I'm not really concerned with what they think. I am however going to take a moment to explain WHY I choose to share so much with social media. It's not because I think I'm important. It's because I know what it feels like to be alone. I can tell you about 3 life-changing moments:

1) When I was 14, my mom got in a car accident and for several weeks didn't know who she was. She thought she was 18 and had no idea who my dad or I were. My dad had already been diagnosed with cancer and I knew he was going to die. I wrote a poem about how it would feel if my Dad were dead and my mom didn't know me. As an only child, it was a very "come to Jesus" time for me. I thought I'd end up in foster care or living on the streets. Luckily I had some amazing friends and family to help me realize my worth had nothing to do with anyone other than me and God. It's hard as a kid, because family is your world.

2) When I was 17, my dad died and the night of his funeral, I drove home with his ashes. The thought
Delphine & Zoey after Kindermusik
of that 5 block drive still leaves me in tears. I'm not sad for myself, I'm sad for that little girl who lost her best friend and her entire world and who just wanted to turn back time and make the bad dream stop.

3) When I was in my mid-thirties, I lost a job I had devoted my life to. I had become a work-a-holic and didn't realize I had made that job my everything. I sat on the floor in my new house (the house I bought as a single mom) looking at my beautiful healthy children and I thought about taking my own life because I felt like a failure. God helped me see what a gift it was to have lost my job. He helped me look in the mirror and say "you have so much, this is a second chance to really live the way you should be living". I had always said my priorities were faith, family, and then my job...I had been lying to myself. I didn't take my life, I TOOK MY LIFE BACK that day.

Any of those moments could have been very different. Had I stayed lonely and afraid, the outcome would be totally different. I choose to see social media and the internet as a way to connect people. I know when I read about someone struggling, I can reach out to them. I can offer support. I know that just one person can change the world by changing the hearts of people around them. When moms reach out to me to talk about breastfeeding, babywearing, daily frustrations, I know I'm making a difference just by listening. There are also people who don't feel comfortable reaching out, but when they read a story about someone they can relate to, it gives them hope. I'm still a hot mess. Parenting isn't easy. Being a wife isn't easy. Owning a farm isn't easy. You know what IS easy? Listening is easy. Smiling is easy. Being a friend is easy.

Friendly comes easy to toddlers! 
We were super public about our pregnancy in 2012 - it ended in a missed-miscarriage in December of that year. It was hard to tell people about that miscarriage, but it allowed me to celebrate the 8 weeks of life our baby had. It also allowed lots of people to come forward and talk about their own heartbreaking losses. We all healed a little bit and we did it together. That right there is why I share so much. I started this blog as a way to heal. It's become so much more, and yet it hasn't - it's still a place people can come to heal and feel connected.

So - there you have it friends.

May your paths be abundantly filled with lemons, sugar, sunshine, and lots of friends!


Crystal is a secretary and musician at her church, babywearing cloth diapering mama (aka crunchy mama), business owner, active journaler, writer and blogger, Blog Tour Manager with WOW! Women on Writing, Publicist with Dream of Things Publishing, Press Corp teammate for the DairyGirl Network, Unicorn Mom Ambassador, as well as a dairy farmer. She lives in Manitowoc County, Wisconsin with her husband, four young children (Carmen 9, Andre 8, Breccan 3, Delphine 2, and baby E due in fall 2017), two dogs, two rabbits, four little piggies, a handful of cats and kittens, and over 230 Holsteins.

You can find Crystal riding unicorns, taking the ordinary and giving it a little extra (making it extraordinary), blogging and reviewing books, baby carriers, cloth diapers, and all sorts of other stuff here, and at WOW! Women on Writing.

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