I'm a lemon Baby!
A few weeks ago I thought I had it all together, but now I'm a big yellow lemon (yes...as in: when life gives you lemons). I failed. I made it where I thought I wanted to be and then fell flat on my face. Big fat promotion a few months ago (Director of Operations if you must know) and now...I earn $363 per week on unemployment and the State of Wisconsin is requiring me to attend a class about creating my resume. Never mind that I already met with a life coach who helped me spruce up my resume, signed up for a class at the local college to help me identify my strengths, applied for over 28 jobs, AND have had a handful of interviews.
If I want to continue receiving my $363 each week, I need to sit through a class. I guess the good news is that I'll be contributing to the economy by spending $15 on child care, and will likely spend over $5 for a latte' on my way to class. Maybe I'll find out more about being over-qualified.
But really - if you know me, you know I'm sarcastic and I just wanted readers to understand why I'm calling myself a lemon. It is my hope that the next months/years/decades will turn that lemon into lemonade and we will all enjoy countless laughs as we look back to where this all started. I could wait until I'm a business owner, international success story, etc...and then start blogging or writing things down, but let's face it: Alzheimer's disease is on the rise, and I did smoke pot...so the chances of me remembering much useful information in 2037 is unlikely.
I'm not going to go into the details of why I was terminated from my last position (after nearly 10 years), and I'm not into finger pointing...so you won't get much of that either. I don't really know what I did wrong at my last job, but I do know that I like my life right here and now. I like being able to come and go as I please. I like being able to pick and choose what I want to work on and how I want to spend my time. I enjoy not having to be nice to everyone. Most of all, I enjoy having time to really talk to people. In the past, I was never really present. Oh yes...my 200 pound 5 foot 8 inch body was there...but I probably had a cell phone in my pocket, an ipad in my purse, and countless to do lists running through my mind. I likely didn't notice that you weren't having a good day - because I just didn't have the time to care. There were times I wondered how long I could keep going at this pace, but I was determined to prove the world wrong and really 'have it all'.
Then I got terminated, and I'm just going to be honest with you - I came home and alphabetized my DVD collection and cried, while thinking that I should just shoot myself in the head. Yup...great optimism...especially considering that I'm a single mother and I have a laundry list of things to be thankful for. So I had a weak moment - I'm done beating myself up for it. I brought it up so if my readers have ever had those thoughts, they know they aren't alone. The long and short of it is: don't define yourself by WHAT you do. Define yourself by WHO YOU ARE - on the inside.
I'm a Lemon - and if you stick around long enough, we can sip lemonade together (feel free to add a splash of vodka if you wish)! If things go really well, maybe we can make a lemon meringue pie too - so bring on the Lemons!
A few weeks ago I thought I had it all together, but now I'm a big yellow lemon (yes...as in: when life gives you lemons). I failed. I made it where I thought I wanted to be and then fell flat on my face. Big fat promotion a few months ago (Director of Operations if you must know) and now...I earn $363 per week on unemployment and the State of Wisconsin is requiring me to attend a class about creating my resume. Never mind that I already met with a life coach who helped me spruce up my resume, signed up for a class at the local college to help me identify my strengths, applied for over 28 jobs, AND have had a handful of interviews.
If I want to continue receiving my $363 each week, I need to sit through a class. I guess the good news is that I'll be contributing to the economy by spending $15 on child care, and will likely spend over $5 for a latte' on my way to class. Maybe I'll find out more about being over-qualified.
But really - if you know me, you know I'm sarcastic and I just wanted readers to understand why I'm calling myself a lemon. It is my hope that the next months/years/decades will turn that lemon into lemonade and we will all enjoy countless laughs as we look back to where this all started. I could wait until I'm a business owner, international success story, etc...and then start blogging or writing things down, but let's face it: Alzheimer's disease is on the rise, and I did smoke pot...so the chances of me remembering much useful information in 2037 is unlikely.
I'm not going to go into the details of why I was terminated from my last position (after nearly 10 years), and I'm not into finger pointing...so you won't get much of that either. I don't really know what I did wrong at my last job, but I do know that I like my life right here and now. I like being able to come and go as I please. I like being able to pick and choose what I want to work on and how I want to spend my time. I enjoy not having to be nice to everyone. Most of all, I enjoy having time to really talk to people. In the past, I was never really present. Oh yes...my 200 pound 5 foot 8 inch body was there...but I probably had a cell phone in my pocket, an ipad in my purse, and countless to do lists running through my mind. I likely didn't notice that you weren't having a good day - because I just didn't have the time to care. There were times I wondered how long I could keep going at this pace, but I was determined to prove the world wrong and really 'have it all'.
Then I got terminated, and I'm just going to be honest with you - I came home and alphabetized my DVD collection and cried, while thinking that I should just shoot myself in the head. Yup...great optimism...especially considering that I'm a single mother and I have a laundry list of things to be thankful for. So I had a weak moment - I'm done beating myself up for it. I brought it up so if my readers have ever had those thoughts, they know they aren't alone. The long and short of it is: don't define yourself by WHAT you do. Define yourself by WHO YOU ARE - on the inside.
I'm a Lemon - and if you stick around long enough, we can sip lemonade together (feel free to add a splash of vodka if you wish)! If things go really well, maybe we can make a lemon meringue pie too - so bring on the Lemons!
Love the lesson behind this post. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're wonderful!
Thanks Quackerz32 - it's ok to be a lemon, to make a few mistakes, as long as you learn from them. I keep thinking "eventually I am going to get it right".
ReplyDeleteI just found a quote you might enjoy: "It isn't until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are - not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within - that you can begin to take control." ~Oprah Winfrey