Even in the darkness there is light. Think about that. There's always a small glimmer - from a phone, streetlight, tiny twinkling star, or maybe it's not even something you can see. Maybe it's a tiny light inside of you. A small ember just waiting for a breath of fresh air to spark them into a raging fire of light! Regardless of where your light is coming from - if you nurture it, it will grow. If you focus on the light, the darkness seems less dark. Less lonely. Less intimidating. All of use have a different light and a different energy. Some of us thrive in a group setting, yet others wither and feel themselves fading when they are with others. Some of us have spent a lifetime pleasing others and have no idea what fuels their light and energy. I'm going to give you a moment to let that sink in. Have you spent a lifetime pleasing others, fitting yourself into someone else's box, and now you find yourself questioning everything. Your light and energy have faded and you aren't quite sure how to kindle your flame? Are you asking yourself "where did it all go wrong?" or "when did my fire die down?"? The first thing I want you to know is you are not alone. The second thing I need you to know is with a little bit of digging and working, you'll be headed in the right direction. Like a Wisconsin garden in the spring, all you need is a little time and love and soon you'll be in full bloom. Your fire will be raging once again!
Don't feel like you need to do this alone. Reach out to friends and family, a counselor, a pastor, or a stranger at a coffee shop. You may find your purpose in art, volunteering, helping others, baking, cooking, reading, exercise, or a variety of other things. Each of us has a different spark of light and those individual sparks are going to grow with something uniquely yours. I'm a list maker. I have a list of things that bring me joy and next to each of those "things" is a list of feelings that come from them. For example, riding horses makes me feel strong and young, reminds me of my childhood and my father. Leaves me feeling energized and renewed. Sitting at the beach makes me think about calm summer days and I feel clear headed and relaxes. Depending on what is causing my inner darkness, I can find the appropriate light source to get me where I need to be. Each day is different - AND THAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY.
It's okay to need people one day and want to take a solo walk in the woods the next day. It's okay to spend 3 months painting and filling canvases and then leave your brushes untouched for a year. Feeding your internal fire and filling your darkness with light is fluid. The night sky is unique every evening and changes depending where you are and when you view it - and just like that night sky is ever changing, so are you. You bring a unique light to a unique darkness - don't be afraid to be your very own unique light. Even in the Darkness - bring it!
Love and Hugs,
xoxox
Crystal
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