Sitting at my kitchen table listening to the latest Christian music on Apple Music and this song came through my earbuds. I see my counselor every few weeks and start my day with some anti-anxiety meds. I worry about everything. I know it's sinful. I know God is in control. However I blame myself for everything from global warming, the declining sea turtle population, my daughter's anger issues, my thinning hair, and everything in between. I want to take a moment to give this song 5 stars before I go onto my goofy ramblings. Listen to it! Like it! Add it to your play list!
Yes - you heard that right. When I say "I'm sorry" ten thousand times a day, they aren't just words. I truly feel responsible for every bad thing that happens from here to the far reaches of the galaxy. I smoked for a bit in highschool which is why I'm short (mom said), I have sensitive teeth and can only drink through a straw which is why the sea turtles and manatee are struggling, I worked too many hours when the older children were growing up which is why they are emotionally detached, I was too dependent on my dad which is why I keep failing at relationships, and the list goes on for days! I'm the bad guy in my dreams too - it's exhausting.
I'm anxious every time we get in the car. A noise at night - someone must be breaking in. The "what ifs" get the best of me repeatedly.
I've known the 23rd Psalm by heart since I sang it in the 2nd grade during church. (I also have chariots of fire memorized on the piano since the 1st grade talent show if you care to know) When my anxiety gets the better of me, I recite what I know. Lyrics to Amazing Grace, The Lord's Prayer, The Serenity Prayer, and Psalm 23. I breathe deep and try to think about happy things. I think about all the amazing positive "what if" opportunities. Sometimes it works better than others.
What works for you? How do you be still and know on the daily?
Crystal wears many hats (and not just the one in this photo) and fully believes in being in the moment and doing everything she can to improve the lives of those around her! The world may never know her name, but she prays that because of her, someone may smile a little brighter. She prides herself on doing nice things - yes, even for strangers!
May your paths be abundantly filled with lemons, sugar, sunshine, and may you always remember the world is a better place with you in it and it's always a great time to put your anxiety to rest and spend time with your Lord and Savior!
xoxoxox
Crystal
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