Bring On Lemons

Today was filled with emotion as we laid a family member to rest. The gentleman who passed away was dearly loved by those I hold most dear. My husband says "he treated me like a son" and "I grew up around them and he taught me so much". Thought I didn't know his well, I know the scenario all too well. My heart breaks for the wife he leaves behind, his children, and his present as well as future grandchildren. On the drive home, a favorite song by Jewel came on "My Father's Daughter" and I wept for the child I once was, for the adult I am...but mostly for cousin David's children. I am my Father's Daughter I have his eyes I am the product of his sacrifice I am the accumulation of dreams of generations And their stories live within me like holy water I am my Father's Daughter The immediate pain of losing a father is brutal. When I was 17 it shook me to the core. In my journal I wrote about how my life felt meaningless wi...

The Only One “Linda? Hey, are you home? Helooooo?” Phil called to his girlfriend as he set down his empty coffee mug on the island in the kitchen. Hearing no response, he shrugged his shoulders and picked up the newspaper and me, his buddy Whiskers. We settled in on the couch, I was purring gently while Phil tried to take in the day (or forget the day – I was never sure which).  The local news on the television.  Old tabby cat in one hand.  Ipad in the other. Predictable. Simple. Phil quickly fell asleep – just as he did every other evening after a long day at the insurance office. Phil and Linda had been living together for just under six months; they had settled into a routine. I didn’t mind Linda so much. She was much better than the other girls Phil had brought home. Missy was high maintenance and claimed to be allergic to me, Shawnda was some sort of dancer and her high heel shoes quite frankly scared me to death as I was afraid she was going to step ...

Poetry is one of those things that do not come naturally to me, so I'm pushing myself to do more of it. It brought me great joy when I was younger, so I'm keeping an open mind. Here's my first attempt. Please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas. Mourning Dance There is a time when the stars retreat And the dawn has not yet come, And the world is still, quiet, and peaceful, And the coffee starts to brew, And the birds begin to chirp and sing I forget reality. Please dreams, stay a little bit longer? Keep reality at bay, In my dreams you are ever near me, We hold one another tight And make promises we’ll never break We don’t want our dreams to end. No! I will not let this slip away, Don’t dance with angels above. I need you right here, right now, always And in my dream, you’re still here.

Let's start with me saying that I'm usually happy and positive. This is by choice. There's a conscious effort going on here every day. I don't watch things that are sad, I don't enjoy talking about things that are sad, I don't knowingly read things that are sad. I love having children for a variety of reasons, one of which is: I can own and watch children's movies without needing an explanation. I crave a 'happily ever after' whether it be in life or in entertainment. Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'll explain why today's post title seems like a complete antithesis of everything I've just described. I found myself with a few free moments this evening. I don't usually watch anything adult on television. When I say adult, I mean...I love i-Carly, Gilmore Girls, and Jessie. I happened to be staying in the basement to wait for a load of laundry to finish, and that particular television doesn't have a remote. Side note ...

A fictional story to get us thinking about the silent mourners...thank you to several great friend for this fabulous idea! Please feel free to comment on this post with your own thoughts and ideas. They learned only ten years into their marriage that Anna would have only a few good years and nothing beyond that would be a guarantee. The disease would eventually rob her of her ability to walk and would make every day tasks impossibly painful. It was a lot for Steven to take, but he knew the importance of family. He was virtually on his own at the age of fifteen and he would never turn his back on his wife or their children. His story was sad to say the least with a drunkard father and a flirtatious mother - hard to say which had been more irresponsible, but the judge had given him the choice. At age fifteen he decided that being on his own was better than babysitting for the adults who had so obviously let him down. That was all history now, and Steven was in this with Anna through th...