Bring On Lemons

Looking for some advice for a mama in a tough situation. What do you do when you're in the midst of a separation/divorce? How do you move past the feelings of despair, sadness, loneliness, worthlessness, and move forward to the happy life ahead of you? Are those steps different if your spouse or significant other was cheating? What if they were addicted to drugs? Alcohol? Porn? I shared my story in a video today, but it's been so long for me. I'm not really sure what advice I can offer. All I can say is I've been there and I know too well the dark feelings. That internal voice telling you that you failed at something really important. The anxious feeling of not wanting to run into that person, but the simultaneous longing to see them. I drank too much, I didn't give myself enough credit for being strong and beautiful, and I did a lot of things wrong. Despite all that, I did some things right... I put everything in storage that mattered (that was 2 totes of clo...

I had a great conversation with a dear friend this evening and she summed up my feelings when she said "Life isn't a competition and parenting most certainly shouldn't be either; but nobody seems to get that." We all parent differently. Please don't compare yourself as a person or a parent. So often people apologize to me because they don't cloth diaper, don't breastfeed, don't make home made baby food, etc... These people assume I am looking down on them because they don't parent the same way I do. Guess what? I didn't parent this way 8 years ago and it doesn't mean I am a better parent now than I was then. I do what works for me and I love you and want you to know you are doing a great job. Let me say that again, just a little bit louder: I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!! There are days when you are just glad you've made it through the day, right? Then there are days when you say to yourself "I've got th...

So, you've picked up a great parenting book or magazine and the cover shows a smiling, well rested, woman or man holding an adorable pudge-faced child. That's what parenting looks like, right? We are super happy ALL THE TIME because we have a little bundle of love. I'll give you a moment while that sinks in... That's NOT AT ALL WHAT REAL PARENTING LOOKS LIKE! Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful journey and totally worthwhile, but if you expect it to be a walk in the park, you will be disappointed. If you expect yourself or your spouse to be on cloud nine for all 18 years of the parenting journey, you will be forever falling short of your plan. Here's the down and dirty truth: _________________________________________________________ 1) You forget. You will forget the last time you used the bathroom alone and eventually you'll stop shutting the door because your efforts are wasted. You'll forget the last time you had a romantic evening wit...

Boy - it's been a while since I put my 'pen to paper' as they say. Lots has happened. Some of the things that transpired are not ready to be shared. One of them isn't ready, but I want to share it any way. Judge me if you like, but read to the end and you may just understand what took me 35 years to figure out. "I wish upon tonight to see you smile, if only for a while to know you're there..." These words move me to tears, because I have been crying every day since March 24th 1994 when my Daddy died. I dated men who were emotionally unavailable, treated myself poorly at times, and didn't make very good decisions. I didn't feel very valued, because the person who valued me the most had been taken to heaven all too soon. I married a fabulous man at Christmas time in 2000. We were married in the same church sanctuary where I had buried my father. The pain was nearly too much for me to bear. We invited less than a hand full of people, because I was...

A sweet (and brutally honest) friend shared the following quote with me on Friday afternoon and it's still bee-bopping around in my head - which usually means I am meant to share it. So here is your gift from me this Memorial weekend:  "What people in the world think of you is really none of your business." ~Martha Graham This conversation came about because I have a lot of self doubt because I have always cared too much about what other people think, how they feel, and what they are saying about me. I can say that I don't care what other people think, but deep down inside, I want to be like-able. I try to never offend, treat others the way I would want to be treated, and if I have to deliver bad news...I try to do it as tactfully as possible while pointing out as many positives as possible. I try to see the good in others and I hope they'll do the same for me. When I find a fault I try to fix it, and I believe that people are always well-intended. I trus...