Bring On Lemons

Happy Saturday from Wisconsin...where Mother Nature is throwing some sort of tween temper tantrum. A few days ago we were outside enjoying the sunshine without our sweatshirts on. Today, I wish I had my winter jacket, scarf, and mittens. I just had a fabulous conversation with a long time friend. She's busy with her first baby who isn't even a year yet, and she just found out she's expecting another little love nugget. I remember like it was yesterday... You love your first baby with your whole heart. The moment you see the + on the pregnancy test, you fall in love and that love deepens when you hold them in your arms. Your heart is so full of love. The first time they say "Ma Ma" you are certain your heart is going to explode. Of course you are tired, some days you aren't sure you were cut out for this important role, but at the end of the day you are totally and completely in love with this tiny human. Fast forward - you are having another one. Exc...

Some of you know my story and I'm in no way ashamed...I was pregnant for the first time at 20 and had a lovely baby girl. She was placed for adoption and we have always been very open with our family about her. It's a pretty heavy concept for a 5 and 6 year old to grasp and I admit it took me by surprise when my 5 year old son asked "why did you sell my sister?" and we have since talked about loving someone so much that you do what's best for them even though it breaks your heart. Anyway - I've been pregnant 6 times. Here's the scoop: My Age             Pregnancy Details 20 - Had a lovely baby girl after being on bed rest for 3 months 22 - Had a devastating miscarriage 30 - Had a lovely baby girl after being on bed rest for 6 months (3 months in the hospital) "Carmen" 31 - Had a handsome baby boy ... totally text book pregnancy ... no bedrest "Andre" 35 - Had a devastating miscarriage and learned about something called a 'mi...

Yesterday I received an updated email regarding my pregnancy. The email said that the baby was the size of a lemon. At the time, I didn't think much about the comparison since each week there was some talk of food. The size of a walnut, the size of a this or that...and until this very moment, I didn't realize just how appropriate the lemony reference was. Let me explain... At 2pm today, my husband my son and I walked into the clinic for our scheduled OB appointment. I was 12 weeks pregnant and we were all very excited about hearing the baby's heartbeat and sharing a special family moment. We waiting patiently and then the big moment arrived. The doctor pulled out the electronic stethescope to listen to the heart beat. He had trouble finding it which wasn't all that concerning. He asked the nurse to bring in an ultrasound machine and then a special vaginal ultrasound machine. It was obvious there was a problem. There was a large pink elephant in the middle of the room ...

Getting it Right This Time? I knew that I had been forgiven the moment I read the prayer with Pastor in his office that day. After several lonely years away from my church and my friends, I would finally be welcomed back with open arms and forgiven. Yes, I had three children with three different fathers, I was divorced, a single mother raising two of my three children, and I had been a young woman who placed her first born for adoption. I had been a mess. Left church because I chose to live a life of sin, and now I was back and begging for forgiveness. It would have been easier to stay away, but doing the right thing was not always the easy thing…or at least that’s what Daddy had told me. Shortly after my confession and absolution, I met an amazing man. We had a fabulous first few weeks. Then I found out that he had been a repeat drunk driver. He would spend our first Christmas and Valentine’s Days on house arrest. He said he would understand if I decided to end things. However...