Bring On Lemons

Today's guest post is written by  friend of the woman who submitted the letter to her soon to be ex- husband, and his mistress , in light of his cheating (originally discussed in "Crawling Out of the Dark". Dear Friend, You are so strong. I know you don't feel very strong right now, but you are. You could have handled this situation in so many different ways. Instead, you confronted the situation head on with your head held high. You didn't crawl into a bottle. You didn't run to the arms of another. You continue to be a wonderful mother and friend, you continue to work hard helping others and enjoying life to the fullest.  I wish I could do something to ease your pain. I wish I could do something to help you see none of this is your fault. You are beautiful inside and out. Your husband's wandering eye has nothing to do with you. He is broken; you are not. Soon enough that sparkle in your eyes will return. The confidence in your stride will be back...

Delphine & her BFF Zoey So - I appreciate all the kind messages, texts, PM's and all the support concerning our recent pregnancy announcement. You are all just the neatest people EVER! And haters are gonna hate, but I'm not really concerned with what they think. I am however going to take a moment to explain WHY I choose to share so much with social media. It's not because I think I'm important. It's because I know what it feels like to be alone. I can tell you about 3 life-changing moments: 1) When I was 14, my mom got in a car accident and for several weeks didn't know who she was. She thought she was 18 and had no idea who my dad or I were. My dad had already been diagnosed with cancer and I knew he was going to die. I wrote a poem about how it would feel if my Dad were dead and my mom didn't know me. As an only child, it was a very "come to Jesus" time for me. I thought I'd end up in foster care or living on the streets. Luckily I...

Looking for some advice for a mama in a tough situation. What do you do when you're in the midst of a separation/divorce? How do you move past the feelings of despair, sadness, loneliness, worthlessness, and move forward to the happy life ahead of you? Are those steps different if your spouse or significant other was cheating? What if they were addicted to drugs? Alcohol? Porn? I shared my story in a video today, but it's been so long for me. I'm not really sure what advice I can offer. All I can say is I've been there and I know too well the dark feelings. That internal voice telling you that you failed at something really important. The anxious feeling of not wanting to run into that person, but the simultaneous longing to see them. I drank too much, I didn't give myself enough credit for being strong and beautiful, and I did a lot of things wrong. Despite all that, I did some things right... I put everything in storage that mattered (that was 2 totes of clo...

I had a great conversation with a dear friend this evening and she summed up my feelings when she said "Life isn't a competition and parenting most certainly shouldn't be either; but nobody seems to get that." We all parent differently. Please don't compare yourself as a person or a parent. So often people apologize to me because they don't cloth diaper, don't breastfeed, don't make home made baby food, etc... These people assume I am looking down on them because they don't parent the same way I do. Guess what? I didn't parent this way 8 years ago and it doesn't mean I am a better parent now than I was then. I do what works for me and I love you and want you to know you are doing a great job. Let me say that again, just a little bit louder: I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!! There are days when you are just glad you've made it through the day, right? Then there are days when you say to yourself "I've got th...

It's a gorgeous day here - the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and it was warm enough to leave my sweater at home. It's certainly not the weather that put me in a bit of a funk this morning ... and I'm not sure if that's the best way to describe my emotions anyway ... let me explain: I've been the super busy burning the candle at both ends person. The one who feels under appreciated and over-worked as well as the one with that voice inside screaming "what about what I want? Does NOBODY care what I want?" When I was living that life, I thought I was doing a good job being mindful of others. I would talk about 'perception is everything' and I thought I was being careful of my tone, my body language, and choosing my words carefully. You get the picture. I felt like I was walking on a tightrope that was a bit frayed on one end - I knew eventually the darn thing was going to give and I was going to plummet toward the ground. I didn't think...

Raining on the Inside If you're anything like me, you don't really enjoy crying in front of people. That means happy tears as well as those of pain and sadness. Such an outflow of emotion is something I feel comfortable doing in the shower, and on rare occasion, in front of my husband. This said, if you've seen me cry, I was likely incredible uncomfortable at that moment. If you've seen my cry more than once, you're probably a dear friend or family member (or a stalker with a stool who can see into my bathroom window). I have plenty of emotions, but I prefer to share the happy ones and leave the tears for private. This morning I logged into my social media accounts (since I own a business where I help businesses with social media, I get to call this "work") - so I started 'working' and my news feed was flooded. 1) The mayor's grandfather died 2) A dear friend described herself as "broken" after the death of yet another family...

I finished this short story a few days ago (in a notebook with a pen - specifically a fine point pen, because they're so much nicer to write with) and it just took a while to get it polished up enough for the blog. I'll be showing it to my writer's group next week which will mean even more changes and hopefully it will be my next submission - and the winning submission I hope - for an upcoming flash fiction contest. Please share your thoughts on the blog, or with a private message/email. Thank you as always for your support! "Honey, are you sure you're feeling okay?" "YES. Why do you keep asking?" "Oh...no reason really...you just don't seem yourself." ...silence... ...furnace kicks in with a whirrr... ....plip...plop...the faucet must be leaking again... The same conversation that always leaves the room feeling large and empty. I imagine that most couples start the day with a good morning kiss or enduring exchange. We did...

What can you give that you can never take back? Of course, it's our words. We choose them carefully because we all know that we can say I'm sorry, but we can never take back the words we've said or change the impact they've had on others. We can choose to give a compliment or an insult. We can choose to lift someone up, or knock them down. The list goes on and on. None of this is profound, new, or should come as a surprise to any of us. What I do find profoundly interesting is something said by a friend recently. She said something to the effect of: Words are really powerful - God used them to create everything we know...even mankind. Wow! That explains it, doesn't it? I've been been thinking about this for weeks and if God used words in our creation, they are really the most powerful things we have. They are more powerful than nuclear weapons and guns in the sense that they can both create and destroy instead of just having the ability to destroy. Whe...

If you were a boat, the following could be said: When the waves are tossing you about and the turbulence is more than you can bear you return to port. Returning to the safety of the harbor where you find refuge and safety among others of your kind. Life isn’t entirely different than sailing. When a woman feels as if her very being is shattering – during childbirth – she calls out for her mother. Our natural instinct is to return home. Sometimes home is a town, a building, the loving arms of friends and family, and sometimes it is merely a smell or a memory. I place we long to be but can never find in the physical sense. I feel that way myself from time to time. I seek the camaraderie of a particular melody or the words of a poem. Today it was the lovely words written nearly one hundred years ago by poet Amy Lowell. I have a delightful text book from 1923 that describes Amy in the following way: No one has fought, in theory and in practice, the battles for the experimental a...

Pretty sure this is entry 9, but it's been a long day....I must say that I enjoy journaling challenge. And if you didn't catch the earlier post about what this is all about, how to join, etc...here it is again:  http://www.createwritenow.com/ And here is what my entry for day 9 looks like: What does your inner critic say? What makes you think that you’re qualified to help others do anything? You’ve got three loads of unfolded laundry stacked in your basement, your lawn needs mowing, and your kids can’t find a pair of matched socks! How does your inner coach respond? See pep talk below! Remember – call on your inner coach any time!!! Pep talk: Coach: Crystal – grab a cup of coffee and step into my office. Why are you kicking your own ass? Aren’t there plenty of people out there willing to question your abilities? Why are you joining them? Me: Um…..I suppose….I just wish there were more hours in the day. Coach: What’s going to happen if the laundry...

Today, I received a very polite email letting me know that I had not won a literary contest I had submitted a story to. For some reason (call it human nature if you will) rejection brings me to a funny place. I hear every negative comment that has ever been called to my attention. Those thoughts fill my mind and I fight them off saying 'Crystal, not everyone can win. Toughen up. Where's that lemonade attitude you talk about?' and then I start second guessing myself. 'Who are you to tell other people to be positive when you're sinking into the muck and mire of negativity?' on and on.... And then - I am reminded to breathe. Life comes with it's very own phone-a-friend option when you don't have all the answers. I grabbed my phone and called a friend. Sent an email to my husband. Wrote in my journal. I started to hear positive encouragement. I saw the love in my children's eyes. I remembered that Dr. Suess was rejected numerous times before becoming...

Today's post title is inspired by the fabulous song that is likely going through your head right now "I still belong, don't get me wrong, you can speak your mind but not on my time...you can live your life, but this is my life..."etc... The topic however is inspired by a dear friend who recently said to me "why is it so hard for people to be real and have a conversation about things they disagree with?" I've been thinking about that queestion and the conversation that it inspired - what she was really talking about is feedback. Why is it so difficult to tell someone that you'd like them to do something differently? We beat around the bush, and sometimes never say what's on our mind. Isn't this really the rooot cause of relationship problems? The cause of dating mis-haps, family arguements, and the underlying issue that often results in anger and fighting? Before you answer, let me toss out some scenarios: 1) You're dating someone ...

Each day is a gift in and of itself. Each day is actually a two-fer...as in: the day is a gift, and the day brings you a gift. The key is finding the gift some days. Today we received some bad news about the farm transition and expansion. I won't go into details, but there were so many gifts buried beneath the superficial struggles throughout the day. The struggle: The cows were too hot and not milking much The gift: Mark got to spend time with his Dad putting together the sprinkler system The struggle: Financing problems we had not planned for The gift: a team of professionals on the county/state/and bank level who pulled together to help us understand what we can do moving forward to make this less problematic. The struggle: Finding time for engagement pictures The gift: We scheduled them...and it means we have an afternoon together (may not be the location or time of day we originally planned, but it will be perfect since we are together) The struggle: No help for mil...

A sweet (and brutally honest) friend shared the following quote with me on Friday afternoon and it's still bee-bopping around in my head - which usually means I am meant to share it. So here is your gift from me this Memorial weekend:  "What people in the world think of you is really none of your business." ~Martha Graham This conversation came about because I have a lot of self doubt because I have always cared too much about what other people think, how they feel, and what they are saying about me. I can say that I don't care what other people think, but deep down inside, I want to be like-able. I try to never offend, treat others the way I would want to be treated, and if I have to deliver bad news...I try to do it as tactfully as possible while pointing out as many positives as possible. I try to see the good in others and I hope they'll do the same for me. When I find a fault I try to fix it, and I believe that people are always well-intended. I trus...