None of Your Business

A sweet (and brutally honest) friend shared the following quote with me on Friday afternoon and it's still bee-bopping around in my head - which usually means I am meant to share it. So here is your gift from me this Memorial weekend: 


"What people in the world think of you is really none of your business." ~Martha Graham


This conversation came about because I have a lot of self doubt because I have always cared too much about what other people think, how they feel, and what they are saying about me. I can say that I don't care what other people think, but deep down inside, I want to be like-able. I try to never offend, treat others the way I would want to be treated, and if I have to deliver bad news...I try to do it as tactfully as possible while pointing out as many positives as possible. I try to see the good in others and I hope they'll do the same for me. When I find a fault I try to fix it, and I believe that people are always well-intended. I trust people until they give me a reason not to. Yup...I'm not cut out for politics and though I have leadership characteristics, I'm probably not even cut out for management because I'm not good at keeping people at arms length. I want to love everyone and I really do think that everyone is genuine and they are my friend.


Anyway - that's something I'm working on. In the meantime, I am trying very hard to not wonder what others think of me, what they are saying, etc... and if you feel like you need to tell me what others are saying, please see the quote above. It's none of my business what they think about me. I can't change anyone's perception. If you believe I said something hateful, you probably took something out of context or you don't know me very well. If you want to say something hateful about me, that's your prerogative and again...none of my business. Someone recently said "she's always so grumpy" about a dear friend of mine who I think is a bundle of joy and positive energy. Yup - she has her opinion and I have mine and I wouldn't run back and tell my friend what was said, because it wouldn't help her in any way...see quote above...none of her business.


The more I write about this quote, the even more I love it and I'm hoping if I think about it enough I'll begin to do a better job living it. You think I'm a bad parent? Yup...none of my business because my true friends are supportive of my parenting. You think I dress funny? Yup...none of my business because there are probably some crazy people somewhere that enjoy my eclectic style. You think I'm a crappy writer? Yup...none of my business and you have a choice to read what I write or not read it, so ultimately, this one's back on you too.


OK - back to the point, I was curious about the woman who originally said this. Who is/was Martha Graham and what prompted this deep thought? 


Martha Graham was born in Pennsylvania in 1913 and died April first 1991. She was a dancer, and the first dancer to perform at the White House, and the first dancer to receive the Medal of Freedom. She also said the following: "I have spent all my life with dance and being a dancer. It's permitting life to use you in a very intense way. Sometimes it is not pleasant. Sometimes it is fearful. But nevertheless it is inevitable."


WOW - what an insightful and talented woman. She expressed herself through dance - and any time you express yourself in a public way, you run the risk of condemnation and commentary by others. I am not surprised that such a creative and insightful woman was also the first to speak these truthful words:


"What people in the world think of you is really none of your business." ~Martha Graham


now...back to my quest of living these words...


May your paths be abundantly filled with lemons, sugar, sunshine and may the condemnation and commentary of others never make it's way back to you - it's none of your business...remember that!


~Crystal