If you're anything like me, you don't really enjoy crying in front of people. That means happy tears as well as those of pain and sadness. Such an outflow of emotion is something I feel comfortable doing in the shower, and on rare occasion, in front of my husband. This said, if you've seen me cry, I was likely incredible uncomfortable at that moment. If you've seen my cry more than once, you're probably a dear friend or family member (or a stalker with a stool who can see into my bathroom window).
I have plenty of emotions, but I prefer to share the happy ones and leave the tears for private. This morning I logged into my social media accounts (since I own a business where I help businesses with social media, I get to call this "work") - so I started 'working' and my news feed was flooded.
1) The mayor's grandfather died
2) A dear friend described herself as "broken" after the death of yet another family member
3) Another story about an abused child who passed away
4) Another debate about gun control and school safety
the list doesn't stop here...
I was overwhelmed. My throat was tight. I was brought back to the day my father passed away, the day my children were born and the cautious eye I still keep on them, and the day of the SandyHook school shooting. Then I was jolted back to reality by a "mommy, mommy, I finished my oatmeal" and I realized everything I have in the right here and now. I cannot control the lives and decisions of others. I wanted to cry for them, I wanted to cry for me, but yet I wanted to smile for all the amazing things taking place in the world around me:
1) A lovely young lady expecting her first child
2) A new puppy for my young son
3) A testimonial for a local coffee shop
4) The sunshine and weather that's conducive to sledding
this list goes on and on too...
I was a mess of emotion and the only way I can describe it is :
I'm raining on the inside and smiling on the outside.
As I continue my day, I am raining, smiling, and praying. The best part of rain in nature is that it helps plants grow and washes away dirt and dust. Maybe that's why I'm smiling on the outside - because my internal rain is helping me grow and is getting rid of the gunk...
May your paths be abundantly filled with lemon, sugar, sunshine, and internal rain to help you cleanse and grow!