Well, it's taken seven weeks to get this down on "paper", so you'll have to excuse any inaccuracies. I should preface this story by saying it is true to the best of my sleep-deprived, new mommy recollection.Breccan's birth happened Monday, September 23rd at 9:33pm but in reality, his birth story began much much sooner. Now, my gestation period is 40 weeks (same as all other humans)...so this may seem confusing at first. Breccan's birth story begins mid-October 2012, nearly a year before his official birth.
Mark and I were married in August 2012 and hoped to conceive on our wedding night. We didn't conceive until mid-October and we were super excited. I remember saying "we may not have a honeymoon baby, but maybe it happened the night of your birthday!" Well, regardless of when it happened, we were excited. We went to Sneek a Peek studio in Green Bay to get an early ultrasound. It was so reassuring to see the baby's heartbeat at 6 weeks. I was relieved it wasn't twins - or maybe I was a bit disappointed - either way...nice healthy baby. We named him/her Jackson just to eliminate any "it" references. A few weeks later, it was time for my 12 week check up. Mark (my husband if I didn't already tell you that), and my 4 year old son, Andre came to the appointment (Carmen who was 5 at the time was in school). It was Wednesday, December 12th and it was freezing outside. We were excited for Christmas and even more excited about sharing our good news with the rest of the family!
I'll spare you the details of the appointment and just tell you I learned about something called a 'missed miscarriage' and had to make the choice whether to schedule a d&c or wait for my body to expel the tissue that was no longer baby Jackson. The emptiness I felt is indescribable.
December 14th in the wee hours of the morning, we made love. We knew it would be weeks before we could be intimate. It felt great to hold one another close and afterward, I cried. It is difficult to mourn the loss of a child; having my husband by my side eased that pain a bit. Later that day, I checked into the hospital for a d&c. I didn't want anyone with me and Mark was planning on picking me up after milking and chores that same evening.
I remember hearing the Doctor's strict instructions about waiting "two cycles before trying to conceive" and he reminded me that if we did not wait we would increase the risk of another miscarriage. I went home feeling defeated and alone.
2 months passed and it was Valentine's Day. It was a Thursday evening.I still had not gotten a period and was quite concerned. Not only was I anxious about conceiving again, but I was worried that something had gone wrong and maybe we would never be able to have more children. I called the Doctor and went in to find out what was going on. That was the day I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. It seemed impossible. How could I have become pregnant on the very day I had a d&c? I had so many questions and an incredible amount of fear.
If you ask me to explain how Breccan was conceived, I will tell you "God is Good" because beyond that I cannot explain the medical phenomenon that must have taken place. Apparently my ovaries knew Jaxon was gone but my uterus did not? I must have ovulated and somehow we must have conceived in those wee hours the morning of the d&c. Then, that fertilized egg must have hung out somewhere outside of the uterus until the d&c was done and then safely implanted. Sounds pretty far-fetched to me...regardless...283days after my d&c I gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Breccan Leland Otto.
Breccan will come to know his big brother Jackson who helped paved his way. Each of our children is very special and they are truly a gift from God. Breccan was celebrated a bit differently than the other children and instead of keeping a pregnancy journal, we did a belly-cast to freeze time and make something lasting to remember those last few weeks of pregnancy. Thank you to Emily Shier from Beautiful Birth who took the time to meet with us and talk baby talk while creating the belly cast. Thank you to my dear friend Tess Fallier of Tess Fallier Photography who was with us to photograph this portion of our adventure. Check out the amazing photos below!
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